One-sided friendships are no fun. It is not okay be around people who do not really want to be around you. It not only makes you feel alone, but it may make you loose your self-worth. You may ask yourself, well how would I know if I am in a one-sided friendship? Truth is, most of the time we try to cover up the signs. Sometimes we encounter one-sided friendships and sometimes friendships end. In either case, here is how you can know if you belong to any of these.
Let us begin with a scenario: "You and your friend are hanging out on a beautiful Saturday morning. Truth is, the only reason why you two are hanging out today is because you had to beg your friend to hang out with you. When your friend saw that they had nothing else to do, they accepted. Of course they made all the plans.
The entire time you two are hanging out, you walk behind your friend as they take the lead. You remember that you had exciting news to share, and when you share it, your friend shrugs it off and says, "that's cool" then, moves on"
Let's stop there. That already sounds like a great time right? Unfortunately there are friends like that, and it isn't fun to be in that situation. Here are a few more red flags signaling that you are in a one-sided friendship.
Plain Jane: If you feel that you are speaking to a wall when you share exciting news or when you speak about your passions, but when your friend shares some exciting news they finally show some interest in your conversation this can be a big sign that you are in a one-sided friendship.
Competition: If you feel like everything you do is an "anything-you-can-do-I-can-do-better" situation, it's definitely not healthy. Friends are happy for one another. If you see a friend succeed, you should not be compelled to do something that will top them and vice-versa. Be around people who make you a better you, not make everything feel like a competition.
** This can be especially hurtful if they try to compete with things that you love to do. Never allow yourself to turn your passions into competition. Do what you love to do no matter who tries to top all that you do.
Encourages You to Change: And I do not mean change for the better. If you find that your friend is constantly placing you in uncomfortable situations and if you find that he or she is constantly telling you to change, that is not a true friend. Yes, friends help you reach goals or think outside the box, but there are limits. Your limits should be respected.
Doesn't Support You: I do not believe in limiting a friend from talking to certain people just because I have a problem or conflict with that person. I do however believe that friends should stick up for one another. A friend should never talk bad about you behind your back, and they certainly should never talk bad about you in front of your face.
Never allow yourself to be walked all over, but never stoop down to a level that isn't yours. Always pray for your friends, and always pray for your relationship with your friends. Remember that two is always better than one. Make sure that your relationships and your friendships are a great reflection of what you believe in and who you are.
I strongly believe that people are the way they are because of what they have been through. Appreciate everything that comes into your life with open arms knowing that every situation you face shapes the person you are now. Thank you so much for reading, and I pray that you find rest in your situation.
I also made a video on one-sided friendships that you can view it here: